I’m hotpawing it out the front door for my weekend romp on the playing fields with the Irish Aunt and sprog when I’m set upon by Cleo, puffed up into an enormous furry monster. Hissed, sunk her claws into my bum and frightened me so much I ran off down the path – but then she chased me!
I got no sympathy from my family who were giggling and roaring: ‘Go, Cleo, get him!’, not concerned at all for my welfare, or pride. Then more shame as people walking down my street started laughing.
Think I’d better lie low for the rest of the day, get over the trauma and rebuild my dignity. And keep out of the way of cats.