What’s the world coming to? I’m taken to my favourite café en famille: the whole lot – mum, Irish cousin, sprog and friend – and I don’t get a single mouthful. I was made to sit right under the table because the place was so busy and I think they forgot about me while scoffing their bacon sandwiches, pancakes with maple syrup, and cake. Not a single bite came my way, never mind pancake.
As retribution I pulled at every lamp post and did two poos on the way home to show my displeasure. All while it was raining and howling an icy windy. I have ways of getting my own back after such a rum do.