…or, to be more precise, what’s left of Rudolph.
Rudolph was an early present and I have loved him to bits – literally.
From a plush moose with plump antlers, beady eyes and nose, he has evolved into something, well something rather less. After nearly eight years, only two limbs survive but I still root him out of the toy basket to play with regularly.
Even if my mum has washed him…
Me with Rudolph in his heyday and his gradual demise.
It’s Saturday and I thought my mum would never be ready to take me out. Instead of appearing in her dog walking gear, she was dressed in smart jeans and a soft pink sweater which I know is one of her favourites. I guessed she was bypassing my walk and going out for lunch or something.
But no, she gets the lead, poo bags and my ball so off we go. Instead of going to the park she takes me with her to get a newspaper and then, bliss, she takes me to the pub. She comes back from the bar with a drink, a pork pie and a bag of crisps. Mmm, I love pork pie.
What do you mean, that’s not for me; the crisps are for me? I’m sure if I look plaintive enough I’ll get a morsel. Before I get into hungry puppy mode (big eyes, on the point of drooling), the bar maid comes over, asks me for a paw and offers me dog biscuits. It would have been so rude to refuse!
My mum starts to feed me crisps, slices into her pie and discovers it has a secret – black pudding in the middle. Bleurgh, she says so I know I’m in for a triple treat. I love black pudding!
I am such a lucky dog.
Boutique gin, real ale and real snacks
Sunshine, park, ball – my favourite things! And the biscuits afterwards. Hang on – where are my BISCUITS???
Fine sunny afternoon so mum decides to tidy up the garden which is, quite frankly, a right mess after months of neglect: brambles, dead flower stalks and loads of leaves everywhere. A veritable jungle.
Of 
course once she starts, it’s more than raking up a few leaves and the job gets bigger and bigger. Some of the shrubs barely escaped annihilation! The whole household was out. My part is to tidy up after her, breaking the branches into manageable sticks and Marley joined in, packing the dried stalks neatly by pouncing on them. Cleo pranced about the street, no help at all.
Two hours flashed by in no time at all and there was a rush to clear up before my mum went off for a pre-booked massage. She said she really needed it after all the strenuous activity.
The garden looks so much bigger and now there’s just a load of moss to clear from the path and cobbles. So that means another session outdoors and lots of helping for me. I love gardening, might be my favourite thing!
What’s the world coming to? I’m taken to my favourite café en famille: the whole lot – mum, Irish cousin, sprog and friend – and I don’t get a single mouthful. I was made to sit right under the table because the place was so busy and I think they forgot about me while scoffing their bacon sandwiches, pancakes with maple syrup, and cake. Not a single bite came my way, never mind pancake.
As retribution I pulled at every lamp post and did two poos on the way home to show my displeasure. All while it was raining and howling an icy windy. I have ways of getting my own back after such a rum do.
I’m ready, get a move on! The beach might be gone.
Dogwuff! 