I put the ‘p’ in picnic…

I am in disgrace.  I may never be taken on a picnic again.  Mum prepared lots of lovely food so we could eat al fresco near a favourite pub and I messed up.  Big time.

It didn’t start well because I was so excited that I tugged her out of the car and hurtled towards the pub so fast that she couldn’t keep up and had to let go of my lead.  That’s a no-no.  I’m still head down in embarrassment when we sat down and, with all the stress, had to relieve myself.  NOT against the table she yelled.  Oops, another mistake.

She put the picnic bag down on the grass and started on her drink while I perused the other people and their dogs.  Then it happened – I don’t know what got into me – I raised my leg again and peed against the picnic bag!  She was incandescent, snatched the bag and started yelling how I was a disgrace.  Seems there’s already a ‘p’ in picnic.

There was more.  The bag went straight in the washing machine when we got home but, while she took out the food containers, she forgot about the red paper napkins; they disintegrated in the wash and the bag came out covered in red blobs. I may have to lie low for some time.

I am left in charge

Mum went out today for coffee with friends and left me in charge…of the summerhouse!  The sun was shining and it was really warm so she said I could stay outside in the yard but she would leave open the door of the summerhouse in case it got chilly.  It’s June but it can still be a bit cool.  Mum complains on the beach when there’s wind as it cuts the temperature by several degrees.  I don’t notice, of course, being covered in fur.

It stayed lovely and warm but I lay on the rug anyway, just to show I was the boss.  My mum was ages, far longer than it takes to have coffee, so when I heard the car pull up I made a big noise so that she knew I hadn’t been neglecting my duty as yard guard.  I sound quite frightening if you don’t know me; there’s some power in my bark I tell you.  Mum isn’t frightened of course and just tells me to shut up.  Which I think is very ungrateful since I’ve been protecting the property while she gossips and shops the afternoon away.